The Ides

NaBloPoMo_1114_298x255_blogrollHalf way through… This month of daily blogging, that is the month of November.  Well over halfway through this year of 2014 – zooming along toward the blast of holidays.  And, a sobering thought, certainly more than half way through this lifetime.  It’s a beautiful, late fall Saturday here in New England.  Perhaps if I didn’t have this unwelcome head cold, it would be a grand day for a hike.

Housebound, with a mug of tea, it is time for reflection.

Reflecting on friendship, as I have been doing, (as well as the ongoing topics that keep slipping in: family, shame, body size, addiction, the cult of appearance and the PFIC) inevitably leads me to evaluative questions.  Am I living the life I choose to live, or just reacting to circumstances as they arise?

It is a challenge to write a post every day, something that feels true and honest, that I feel capable of ‘publishing’, which is to say, sharing publicly. Friendship, writing, sharing are all about connection and relationships, central to what gives my life meaning.  So, I guess I am doing what I want to be doing.

Then why do I continue to question myself?  Not enough hours in the day to accomplish all the writing, connecting, relating and sharing that I want to do?  Too much stuff in the way:  piles of papers, books and what all here in my writing space; too many unanswered emails, letters and phone calls (back to that!); too many options, influences, interruptions and distractions; so many things to read and contemplate.

And tonight, a need for some healing sleep wins the coin toss.  Until tomorrow, then.


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